Chloe's Story

Chloe was 16 when psoriasis returned and began affecting her life, later leading to a diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis. Now, at 18, she is rebuilding her confidence, celebrating small victories and learning to see Chloe in the mirror again.

My psoriasis journey actually started much earlier than I ever realised. I was just 7 years old when the word “psoriasis” was first mentioned to me. At the time, my doctor diagnosed what was happening as a viral infection, so I never imagined that years later it would become such a huge part of my life.

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For years, psoriasis wasn’t something I really understood. It eventually returned when I was around 16, and this time it was completely different. It spread across my body, and what started as spots became something that affected almost every part of my life.

At the time, I was young, starting a nursery apprenticeship and trying to find my place in the world. At the same time, I was struggling massively with how I looked. My skin became something I was constantly thinking about. I would look in the mirror and see the psoriasis before I saw myself.

I remember one particular day so clearly. I was going to a concert that night, but instead of being excited, I spent the whole day crying because I knew I was going to be covered in psoriasis. I felt horrible about myself and didn’t want people looking at me. I wanted to hide my skin, and I wanted to hide myself.

Over the following months, things became even harder. My psoriasis was accompanied by painful joints and symptoms that eventually led to a diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis. I have lost weight, I’ve lost my hair, I’ve had periods where my body has felt like it simply wouldn’t cooperate with me, and I’ve ended up being taken to hospital in an ambulance.

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There have been days when I’ve wondered how I was going to get through it all.

Starting treatment and injections was a huge step for me. I’m someone who has always been incredibly anxious about needles, so having to give myself injections was something I never imagined I’d be able to do. Treatment hasn’t magically made everything disappear, and there have been difficult days along the way, but it has given me hope and helped me feel that I have some control over my condition.

One of the biggest things psoriasis has taken from me has been confidence. I used to think about what I could wear based on what would hide my skin rather than what I actually liked. I would worry about people seeing my arms, my legs or my scalp. Something as simple as getting dressed could become a reminder that my body had changed.

That’s why a recent photo means so much to me.

I went out wearing a dress and, for the first time in a long time, I felt comfortable showing my arms. To somebody else, that might seem like such a small thing. To me, it felt enormous.

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I even went out sober and came home sober because of my injections and treatment, but I didn’t care. I was emotional because I was outside, dressed up, and actually feeling like myself again.

Looking back at photos from the beginning of my journey compared with where I am now makes me realise how much I’ve been through. There is a photo from around the time everything started where I remember feeling completely devastated about my skin. Looking at a recent photo beside it reminds me that although I’m still living with psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, I have found parts of myself again.

And I absolutely couldn’t have got through this without the people around me.

My mum and dad have been there through the difficult days, hospital visits and everything in between. My sisters have supported me when I’ve struggled. My partner, Robert, has been there through the tears, the pain, the hospital trips and the days when I haven’t felt like myself. And then there’s my little doggie, who has been there for the cuddles and comfort when I needed it most.

I’m still learning how to live with psoriasis. Some days are easier than others. I still have moments where I don’t feel confident, and I still have difficult days with my skin and joints.

But I’m also learning to celebrate the little things.

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Wearing a dress.

Showing my arms.

Going out without feeling like I need to hide.

Looking in the mirror and seeing Chloe rather than just seeing psoriasis.

Those little things have become some of the biggest victories of my journey.

If somebody reading this has recently been diagnosed, or is sitting at home feeling embarrassed, upset or completely overwhelmed by their skin, I want to know that they’re not alone.

I know what it feels like to cry because you don’t want people to see your skin. I know what it feels like to feel like psoriasis has taken over your identity. But I also know that there can be moments where you look at yourself and realise you’ve started to feel like yourself again.

I’m only 18, and I never expected psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis to become such a big part of my life so young. But it has taught me that my skin does not define who I am.

I’m still here. I’m still going out. I’m still wearing the dress.

And I’m learning to feel like myself again.